Quick Challenge

Write about this:

Letting Your Reader and Your Writing Explore

The purpose of writing a novel isn't to tell your readers what happens but to let them experience and explore it themselves. That is also how you should write: never telling, always exploring.

The Dreaded Showing Vs. Telling

I'm reposting this from because I feel it accurately and constructively explains what showing versus telling means in your writing and to the reader and she explains HOW to fix it with examples. Enjoy!


Author: Shirley Jump
http://www.foremostpress.com/authors/articles/show_not_tell.html

Show Not Tell:
What the Heck is That Anyway?

by Shirley Jump

"Don't tell us that the old lady screamed.
Bring her on and let her scream." -- Samuel Clemens

We've all heard the phrase "Show, don't tell" but may not know what it means or how to do it. It's one of those elusive things that seem impossible to capture, even harder to get down on paper. However, there are a few tricks of the trade that can help.

First, you need to know the difference between TELLING and SHOWING. Telling is abstract, passive and less involving of the reader. It slows down your pacing, takes away your action and pulls your reader out of your story.

Showing, however, is active and concrete; creating mental images that brings your story -- and your characters -- to life. When you hear about writing that is vivid, evocative and strong, chances are there's plenty of showing in it. Showing is interactive and encourages the reader to participate in the reading experience by drawing her own conclusions.

There are several signs to look for that will tell you that you are TELLING:

1. Those nasty adverbs: Basically, anything ending in -ly is an adverb. For example:

BEFORE: "You are such a jerk," he said angrily. 

First off, you should never modify "said" with an adverb. Second, keep adverb use to a minimum. They're not evil little words that have to be avoided at all costs, but they should be kept to a minimum. It's far better to SHOW he was angry:

AFTER: "You are such a jerk." Dan slammed the phone book shut and threw it at the couch. The pages ruffled open, the names inside seeming exposed and vulnerable against the stark black leather. Dan got to his feet, moving so fast his chair skidded against the floor and dented the new drywall.

Do you see the details in the second example? Nowhere did I use the word "angrily" or even "angry." I didn't have to say he was mad. It's pretty clear. In fact, I didn't even have to say he said the words. By showing with his actions right after his dialogue, you know it's him talking.

2. Not "To Be": Avoid the forms of this verb -- am, is, are, was, was being, will have been, could have been, et al. These not only put you in the passive tense much of the time, but they also tend to remove your reader from the action. Again, they aren't evil words to be avoided at all costs (see I just used the verb myself) but if you can work your writing to make it stronger without the word "was" or any form of it, you'll show more than you told.

BEFORE: The room was perfect. She saw it and was immediately transported back to her childhood because it had all the elements she remembered.

AFTER: She threw open the wide oak door and stepped into a past from twenty years ago. The bedroom she remembered, down to the last detail. Pink candy-striped walls with white trim. A thick white shag carpet, two plush maroon velvet chairs flanking a silent fireplace. An enormous canopy bed, draped with a sheer white veil. Linda pressed a hand to her mouth. What were the chances? Another room, just like the one she'd had, years ago, before she'd grown up and grown out of the one space that had brought her happiness.

I don't have the word "was" in there at all. Granted, I took a little poetic license with the rules of grammar, but you can do that. You're the writer. You can "see" the room now, though. You can feel it, too, I hope. You can see the details that bring her back to the past, rather than just being told that it does. This gives the reader something concrete to visualize and connect with.

Writing Exercise: Take this phrase: "It was hot." Rewrite it without the word was. Better yet, don't even use the word hot. Think of all the things you can use to describe heat. Make a list, if you want. Write a few sentences that SHOW the weather is hot.

3. Starting with As or -Ing: Again, as with all of the other examples, this is not a do or die rule either. However, in general, you should avoid starting a sentence with an "As" or "-ing" construction. "As she walked" or "Rapping at the door" are okay beginnings, but just okay. They're again, telling, not showing.

BEFORE: Rapping at the door, Elaine made her presence known to the people inside the house.

AFTER: Elaine formed a tight fist with her right hand and pounded on the unforgiving oak. They'd hear her, or she'd break her hand letting them know she'd come to call.

Do you see the tighter imagery in the second example? The stronger beginning? Removing that -ing construction really helps. The same principle applies with "As" constructions.

4. Don't just Look and Feel: Looked and felt are great words, but they certainly aren't powerful and they certainly don't show much. Go back to example 1. You could interchange "he looked angry" or "he felt angry" in the "he said angrily" part. Rewriting it without those words is much stronger. Telling the reader someone looks a certain way or feels a certain way is cheating the reader out of drawing her own conclusions. SHOW the reader and let her interpret.

Helpful Hint: Study movies. In movies, they can't TELL you anything. Everything is visual, thus, shown. How do you know someone is upset, angry, happy, sad, frustrated, etc.? Watch movies and write down facial expressions, movements, actions, gestures, etc. Use these to describe your own characters when you're writing. This is the best way to learn how to SHOW emotion instead of telling it.

Writing Exercise: Here's an exercise for you to do with that -- take a word: scary, weird, ugly, etc. And then tell what it looks like. What does scary look like? Weird? Ugly? Don't say the baby was ugly (and you know, we've all seen one ugly baby in our lifetimes), describe it. Don't say the man acted weird -- tell us how he acted. SHOW us him in action.

TIPS FOR SHOWING NOT TELLING

Here's a list of quick tips to keep in mind that should help you show, not tell:

1. Use specific details. The best are ones that are really specific. Is the car a Toyota or a Volkswagen? Is it cherry-red or apple-red? Does the man sit in a La-Z-Boy or a Barcalounger? Brand names help the reader identify with things better, too. Also, the more concrete your details are, the more your reader can get a visual picture. One way to do this is to take a simple sentence and increase it with details by adding to it (example fromhttp://www.uoflife.com/wc/creative/concrete.htm):

• My lawn was covered with leaves.
• Leaves blew through my yard and piled up against the shrubs and fence.
• A cold autumn breeze blew leaves through my yard. I stared out the window and watched them pile up against the sparse shrubs and worn out fence.
• A cold autumn breeze blew leaves through my yard. Summer had ended and I would be the last one to leave the cabin. I sat alone, holding a mug of hot chocolate without drinking, and stared out the back window, watching the red, gold, and brown leaves pile up violently against the sparse shrubs and worn out fence. I had long since given up caring about anything.

2. Use sensory images: Add in all five senses. If you're describing a beach, don't just talk about the heat or the color of the sand; add in the smell of Coppertone, the feel of the sand beneath your toes, the sound of the seagulls, etc. The more you can create a world for your reader by adding sensory details, the more she'll be drawn into your writing.

3. Use good comparisons for your metaphors - not clichés. Metaphors can be a great way to show (Ex: No wonder the dog barked all the time. She had all the courage of a ninety-pound knight about to undertake his first jousting match. From The Lady Had Nine Lives by Shirley Jump, TBA 2004). But you want to be unique. You don't want to compare your things to the same tired old things that everyone else has used. When in doubt, use Shirley's Rule of Six.

4. Vary Your Sentence Structure. Go back to the example with the bedroom and see how a varied sentence structure can keep the reader on her toes, paying attention to the writing. It's also a great tool to use when you want to show suspense or fear (use shorter sentences) or draw out suspense (use longer sentences). Or emphasize a point with a sentence set out by itself.

Example: Her face was still soft, tinged with sadness, her gaze on some faraway spot. He wondered where her thoughts had gone and what could possibly be so bad in Claire's life that she'd stand in the shower of a motor home and cry. The Claire he knew was stoic, optimistic. Never had he seen her upset or hurt, even when she'd fallen from the top of the monkey bars in third grade and skinned up her knees.

As a child, she'd been the Margaret to his Dennis. But as adults -- The very things that had driven him crazy were beginning to spark his interest. No, not just spark. Inflame.

(Excerpt from The Bachelor's Dare by Shirley Jump, Silhouette Romance, December 2003)

5. Use specific actions to make your point. Don't say things like "he had a reputation for driving like a maniac" -- show him driving like a maniac. Let us see him doing those things. Or, you can have other characters talk about him, too. Dialogue can be a great showing tool.

6. Use dialogue as a showing tool (duh! You knew that one was coming). Dialogue is wonderful for bringing out information. Don't do the recap kind of dialogue "oh, don't you remember, she's your real mother because your sister had an affair with your father and then we all passed you off like a sibling" kind of thing. That's information the other character would already know. However, you can do something like:

"I hate Julia."

"She did the best she could," Kenny said. "What choice did you expect her to make at fifteen?"

"A different one than pretending I was her sister, for God's sake. All this time, I've grown up thinking I'm somebody else's daughter." Anne slammed the refrigerator door shut. Inside, the mayonnaise shuddered against the salad dressing. "If she was old enough to have a kid, she was old enough to admit the truth."

Kenny shoved his sandwich away, as if the bologna no longer interested him. "This family is really good at secrets. If there was a Guinness record for the most lies ever told, we'd have it." He sighed, then met her gaze. "Your father really is your father."

7. Don't pad it too much. Don't overwhelm the reader with description either. You're not writing a travelogue, you're writing a story. Add enough details to give them a picture, then move on to the meat of your story. If you have several paragraphs in a row of description, chances are you've gone overboard. Try to work the description in with the dialogue and action instead so you can maintain your pacing and reader interest.

8. Don't be afraid of telling sometimes, too. A mix of both showing and telling is a good idea. You don't have to show every single thing in your book. Sometimes, a quick telling helps get through a slow part or provides a quick recap. The goal is to make the MAJORITY of your writing vivid and strong (i.e., showing) and keep the telling to a minimum.

Copyright by Shirley Jump

Order of Things

Do you ever wonder which way you should order your scenes or even sentences? 

Work things in this order:  

Emotion --> Thought --> Decision --> Action.  

This way your reader can first experience your character's emotion, then tell them what they are thinking and then show your character's divisive decision and subsequent action.

C.S Lewis: On Writing

A lot of writers have rules and techniques for creating those perfect sentences. C.S Lewis just says it better..

1. Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else.

2. Always prefer the plain direct word to the long, vague one. Don't implement promises, but keep them.

3. Never use abstract nouns when concrete ones will do. If you mean "More people died" don't say "Mortality rose."

4. In writing. Don't use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was "terrible," describe it so that we'll be terrified. Don't say it was "delightful"; make us say "delightful" when we've read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers, "Please will you do my job for me."

5. Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

(Taken from: http://io9.com/5899571/writing-advice-from-cs-lewis-was-both-adorable-and-concise) 

       What kind of memories do you write about?

Quick Challenge #2

First line Challenge: 

Write about the moment before a disaster and a character with suicidal tendencies.

Poetry

There are two sides to me as a writer. One side wants to hold onto the traditions of the past, capture the old way of speaking and writing of the great writers of our history. The other wants to break every rule created. It's a fine balance in writing but I believe that a mix of both leads to the best kind of writing, writing that catches you in its current and pulls you under until you are left breathless and with a lasting impression. 


Poetry is a method of writing that breaks through all barriers and it's where I find most of my inspiration. My favorite poets are John Keats and e.e. cummings. They both represent the old and the new in beautiful ways. 


Bright Star by John Keats


"Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art-- 
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,And so live ever--or else swoon to death." 


e.e. cummings "i carry your heart"


"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)."


What are your favorite poems for inspiration?

Writing Emotion

Not all emotion in your story has to come about through description. Sometimes, like in Jane Eyre, its all about your choice of words.

"Do you think I can stay to become nothing to you? Do you think I am an automaton? a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips, and my drop of living water dashed from my cup?


Do you think because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! I have as much soul as you, and full of as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty, and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is me to leave you.


... I am not talking to you in mortal flesh...it is my spirit that addresses your spirit..."
  ~Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

I think this version of Jane Eyre does this scene splendidly.

What are some other ways to express emotion through words?

Quick Challenge

First line challenge...

Rewrite "Call me Ishmael." Add a knife and a balloon.

White's Elements of Style: #1

        1. Form the possessive singular of nouns with 's

The pronominal possessives hers, its, theirs, yours, and oneself have no apostrophe.

How many times have you confused them? I know I have.

Inspirational Quote 4/17/12

Stuck in a Rut: Writer's Block

For a couple days I have felt stuck in a writer's rut. It was like writer's block but I just couldn't move forward until I figured out an essential part of my plot. But no inspiration was coming.

I was looking through the web for some inspiration when I read that the best way to overcome writer's block is to write.

Write.

An obvious idea right? But its so true. On your first draft of any novel, write with no one looking. You have to write anything that is in your head and worry about whether its good or not later.

So write your first draft  as fast as you can knowing you'll have another draft to make it sing.

How do you overcome writer's block?

4/15/12

#1: First Lines

Step One in starting your novel:

Stop for a moment and congratulate yourself. You have what many don't: the courage to write. Its a difficult profession, one where only a few attain the recognition we all seek. But its also a beautiful profession. If you're like me, writing is more than just a hobby or something to do. It is a lifestyle and it can easily consume every part of your life.

So write down on a piece of paper or  post it note your vows: I will not give up, I will always be growing, I will always believe that I have something to say.

Now put this on your mirror or your laptop or somewhere that you will see it often. It will help when you are tempted to watch another hour of TV or go on facebook one last time.

Now take another blank piece of paper and write your first line.

I believe that starting with a first line propels you into the kind of story you want to write. You may know what the plot is, what the ending is, but don't write that down yet. Just your first line.

Let your character speak. Not you or your mother or your sister. Your character.

Make this first line shocking even to you. Let it surprise you that someone could think that. Let it shock you that you wrote it.

After this first line or first paragraph you can now begin planning.

And remember: Say something that embarrasses, shocks, scares, offends.

Never. Stop. Writing.

Inspirational Quote ~ 4/14/12

Inspirational Quote of the Day:

"The writer must be in it, he can't be to one side of it, ever. He has to be endangered by it. His own attitudes have to be tested in it. The best work that anybody ever writes is the work that is on the verge of embarrassing him, always."        ~Arthur Miller

Murdering Your Darlings

Your characters are your babies, your darlings, your best friends and yet when you think of them in this respect that is when you lose real characters and interesting plot lines.

Stephen King says in his book, On Writing, "Try anything you like, no matter how boringly normal or outrageous. If it works, fine. If it doesn't, toss it out. Toss it even if you love it. Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch once said, "Murder your darlings," and he was right."

The goal of any book is to use your characters for some overarching purpose, whether a moral or a lesson or even just an impression of something. This means that everything has to go wrong for characters until the end when they have attained the victory they have sought since the beginning (unless of course this is a tragedy).

Now this doesn't mean you have to physically murder your characters. You can just make them suffer in every way possible. And then at the end of your book, once the reader has overcome all the bad things the character has, the victory in the end will be more sweet and more satisfying.

What ways can you "murder your darlings" without actually killing them off?

Lessons I've Learned About Writing

A friend was reading my third draft of a YA Science Fiction novel and pointed out that sometimes he didn't understand my sentences or my world. He explained that some of the adjectives I chose didn't produce the sense of the world I was aiming for. That hit me really hard and then totally clicked.

So Lesson #1 in what I've learned about writing:

The image in a reader's mind is of utmost importance. It is the heart of writing and the reason why so many people write and why so many people read. So that first image in your reader's mind needs to be the focus of your sentences and your paragraphs and eventually your entire book. As writers we don't have the luxury of movie screens where the world and characters are produced for the reader. In fiction, the writers have to do the work for the reader.

And so the image should be the focus of every sentence. Once your image is clearly laid out for your reader then breathe life into it with sound, smell, action, feeling.

Only then will you have produced something worthy of the reader's affection.

Happy writing!

Inspirational Quote

Sometimes all it takes to be inspired is a quote by an author you love. Today's inspirational quote is an all-time favorite one of mine by Ray Bradbury:

"Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for."